silence now seems to be our only topic
by Hanayuki Shizuka
Summary: adapted from my fren's true story...unrequited love's anguish is not easily understand..quite crappy...1shot TezuFuji


Disclaimer: POT doesn't and will never belong to me.

_This fiction is especially dedicated to one of my friend. She is a quiet and pleasant girl, but no one ever knew her past. Her pain and her hopelessness, always lurked beneath her eyes, but no one ever bothered to look deeper. No one, not even the boy she loved so much but could not confess to. _

Fuji's POV

Fuji Syuusuke was sitting by the pond. His thoughts were back in his childhood, or rather his past, as he never had a childhood. He was always the odd one out; he was always the "accident". He hated his family, he hated his life and he hated himself. His parents had largely ignored him when his brother was with him. Only when Fuji was alone, would his parents really see him. Yuuta, the normal son, the one who made all the noises and created all the trouble, it was normal. Fuji on the other hand, was too quiet. He never screams or shouts never cry or throw a tantrum. Fuji, the quiet tennis prodigy, was the strange one.

His past was littered with anger and hatred. His soul never complete, his angelic face never ever betrays any feeling but the most basic of emotions. He was the abnormal one. His brother loves him, that he knew, but, somehow, it was never enough, oh, he tried, tried so hard to convince himself that it was enough. His parents' approval doesn't really matter, but he was wrong.

He wanted his parents' attention, craved it so much it made him cried out in pain at night. He wanted all of it, the normal family's-love-and-concern package. He wanted it, so much, so, so much.

He looked away from the calm crystal water. It reflected much of his mood, calm on the surface but never smooth underneath. He rotated his sore shoulders and drew his legs up and hugged them, as if trying hurdle into a ball, so any pain would simply be defected from him.

Tezuka's POV

Another boy came, his eyes shone behind his spectacles. Walking towards Fuji, he was thinking what Fuji was thinking right now. He never seems to understand the other boy's thought. All he knew that Fuji was seriously getting on his nerves. It was pretty fun before, when he found that he could talk to Fuji about everything, but when Fuji started to pester him. Well, everything gone down the drain. He knew that Fuji needed something, but he couldn't pin-point it. He tried, tried to be nice, but his patience snapped. He wanted Fuji to stay away from him, leave him alone. But the more he tried to push him away, the more Fuji clung to him.

He stopped, he didn't want to go near Fuji, didn't want to hear his voice calling him Kuni-chan. Tezuka hated Fuji's clinging nature.

Fuji's POV

He knew that Tezuka hated him. But all he wanted was the feeling he got when he was near Tezuka. The safe and secure feeling, he felt every time he was with Tezuka. Although he knew that Tezuka was getting annoyed by his repeated "harassment", he knew they were not meant to be, so he tried to get everything he could from Tezuka, all the attention, all the feelings, all at once.

Fuji would be leaving for London tomorrow, all he wants now was to say goodbye. Tezuka came and sat beside him, his face a stony mask. Fuji was hard-pressed not to cry. He was so remote, so cold now.

They spent the day together, with Fuji pretending to be happy and Tezuka moodily following Fuji's lead. And at the end of the day, they went for a drink together. Tezuka got drunk; maybe he was desperately to escape from Fuji. Fuji sent him home immediately. No one was at home.

Fuji laid Tezuka down carefully on the couch; he stroked his hair lovingly, with a sad smile. Caressing his lean face, Fuji finally let his tears slipped from his eyes. Pressing his lips slowing to his forehead, he rested his body against the warm body of Tezuka's. A sob escaped and Fuji sprang away from Tezuka, a hand pressed firmly against his mouth.

"Atobe…" Fuji had caught the softly uttered name on Tezuka's lips. He shook with pain and grief.

"Kuni-chan, do you know how much I love you, do you know how much I am willingly to sacrifice for you? Even if it is a lie… even if we can never be together, I didn't care. Being with you was enough, but apparently I was… I was never and may never be enough for you. You are right… right to choose Atobe… he is worthy… of your… your love… it had never been me, never, even in my dreams, I knew that…Goodbye Tezuka. You gave me my most beautiful memories, and you taught me the true pain of unrequited love…" with a bitter laugh, Fuji left. Tezuka was the past now, he had to pick himself up again, he must remember to forget his love, must remember not to love…ever again.

Author's POV

A lone tear rolled from Tezuka's eye and fell onto the couch mixing with the tear stains Fuji left. A pair of eyes stared blankly at the door now closed behind Fuji, "Fuji, I am sorry…"

_Gomen ne, I didn't know what really happened in the end, all I know was after the meeting she had with this boy she loves, she was different. She was even quieter. In the end, she got back her smiles, but in her eyes, the little girl once lurking faintly behind all the dark past, was now gone. In place, was a mature woman who had seen too much in too short a period. Sometimes when she thought no one was near, she would mumble his name, as if to make sure she still remembers his name. It breaks my heart every time I see her tears welled up when she talked about her past. She is now in Paris with me, but no matter how many times I asked her, she would never tell me what truly happened after she left his house that night. She just smiled at me and said, "It is over, over from the moment I heard him saying another girl's name in his sleep. I am still trying, still trying hard to forget him and all our memories." _

_What I want to tell her is that, please tell me your problems, it is really very hard for me to see you tear up every time I accidentally mentioned his name. I am your friend, so please, let me help you, Sharon. _


End file.
